I finished Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality at the end of last week. Great book! I'm going to have to go back and re-read it in the near future so that I can digest it more, but this is going to be on my highly recommended book list for years to come.

As promised, I thought I'd share some of my insights and impressions from the book.

First off, it's important to get the idea of integrity that almost all of us have out of the way first, just as Cloud does in the book. Integrity is not merely a moral stance, the choosing of 'right' over 'wrong.' While that is certainly a portion of what integrity is, it involves much more than that. Integrity/character is more than simply a moral safeguard against 'getting into trouble.' Is incorporates who a person is, not just what he/she does.

Cloud talks about the 'wake' that every individual leaves behind them as they move through their life, family, relationships & career. It's not a question of whether or not we are impacting people, it is a question of how. As Cloud puts it...

When you move through life, through your company or organization, through your career, and through your relationships, your character is going to be a "force." The question is, "What kind of force is it going to be?"

When someone has a wholeness of character (a much better definition of integrity), they will leave people and jobs better than when they found them because of the kind of person they are. People of integrity, fundamentally, are involved in the "other." They have the ability to experience and empathize with what those around them are experiencing, and the ability to build into the lives of others.

The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will. ...

Connecting with others in a way that makes them feel understood and valued is key to life and the basis of building trust and loyalty. From that base, everything else works.

That value and worth builds trust in the lives of those around the individual. To trust inherently means to be careless/carefree. Those with integrity of people of grace who show 'unmerited favor' to others. They also build trust through their own vulnerability.

For trust to work, there is a tricky power component. Think about it for a second. How much do you trust someone who is powerless? or a wimp?

But, on the other hand, if people are so strong that they are impenetrable in some way, or even so much stronger than we are, there is too much of a gap to bridge between the hearts. We can't identify with them enough to think they will understand us.

Not enough power, and we can't entrust things of value to the person. Too much power, and we can't feel that they could ever understand or relate to our own vulnerability.

Another concept of integrity that Cloud addresses in the book is that having integrity means that we are about to see and be in touch with reality. Of course we'd all think of the concept of honesty and truthfulness with someone who is supposed to have integrity. Equally as important, though, is that we are able to grasp the way things really are - not to be skewed by either what we want to be reality, or what we hope to be reality.

Telling the truth is foundational, but not enough for success in love and life. ...

For us to get real results in the real world, we must be in touch with what is, not what we wish things were or think things should be or are led by others to believe they are. The only thing that is going to be real in the end is what is. ...

Reality 201 and higher is for those who are honest. They have the foundation and do not lie. But, they also have other character aspects to who they are that keep them from having blind spots way past lying.

Tomorrow I'll finish my thoughts on the book by talking about what people who are in touch with reality look like.